Did I catch a Niner in there? Were You Calling From a Walkie Talkie?

Shout-outs to Chris Farley, David Spade, and Brian Fucking Dennehy.  Tommy Boy, may you rest in peace.  Thanks for the laughs.

I was ready to pick up the pen aka keyboard this morning.  Hand to God I was going to knock out a half page or more on the short story/novel.

Unfortunately before I could dig in, I logged into Twitter and what did I see but another fucking school shooting.

Pardon the profanity.

It’s time to license guns like we license drivers in this country.  If you want to own a hand-cannon designed only to kill another human being or an assault rifle that should only be in the hands of a soldier, that’s on you.  I am not going to try and repeal your right to bear arms, but I am damn sure going to enact extensive regulation and taxation.

You will take a test every five years.

You will prove that you passed said test with an amendment to your drivers license.

You will undergo an initial psych evaluation and a re-evaluation whenever the best science states you should be re-tested.

You will be tracked through a federal database every time you purchase a gun or ammunition.

My family and I deserve no less given the destructive capability of your expression of an antiquated Constitutional right.

You have the right to keep and bear arms, but I have the fucking right to try to give my kids the best chance possible to not get shot while going to fucking college.

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

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We’re Not Worthy

Double India Pale Ale Taken from my HTCSense

Fort George Omegatex Double India Pale Ale Taken from my HTCSense

Fellow citizens, unless you know me personally you will fail to grasp the significance of these 22 ounces of godly nectar.

Fort George brewery in Astoria, Oregon brews my favorite readily available IPA on the planet (Oregon) by the name of Vortex.  Clocking in at 7.7 ABV –  its hoppy goodness is enough to make angels sing.  It truly is the stuff of legend.

Imagine my delight when I come across it’s Imperial cousin boasting a robust (omg corporate buzzwords) 9.9 ABV at my local New Seasons Market!  Did I catch a 9er in there?!  Were you calling from a walkie talkie???

Have you ever smelled bliss?  Have you ever tasted nirvana?  I have and it’s name is Omegatex!

Find it now and sip responsibly.