It’s Been Awhile

I have not blogged since October 16th, 2015.  The only thing that I wrote between then and now was an intervention letter for a close friend.

Life was kinda heavy this week.  Everyone goes through it, though.  I’m sure some folk would call it 1st World Problems.  That’s where I live.  I won’t apologize for it.  To do so would demean my ancestors whose footsteps made it possible.

This afternoon I wish to reflect on our GODS.  I was raised in the Jesuit Roman Catholic tradition.  I am no longer religious, but I am still seeking the truth when it comes to the Divine.  I would say that I strive to live the “Do Unto Others” tradition.  I can’t really argue with treating others how I would wish to be treated.  I realize that concept is not unique to Catholicism or Christianity, but it’s what I know.

The GODS I write of are money, career, lust, consumption, knowledge…whatever gets in the way of LOVE.

Modern life has become so complicated for the worse.  I check shit on my phone dozens of times per day compulsively.  I spend the majority of my day working.  I self-medicate.  I recognize all of these symptoms yet when push comes to shove most times I just can’t help myself.

At times I find myself wishing something would come and wipe it all out.  Then humanity could take it back to the essence.

My fantasy utopia harkens back to tribal living in many ways.  I would be perfectly content growing and hunting my own food.  I don’t need electricity.  Music can be enjoyed acoustically.  Beer has been brewed since the dawn of time.  Sport does not need Nike or ESPN.  I know I would miss the scratch of the Technics and Sportcenter round the clock, but something’s got to give.

Sorry for the rambling.  It’s kind of what I do.  I just feel strongly that we’re all kind of looking for something more right now.  Or at least something different.

The fact that I continue to seek the truth gives me hope at the end of the day.  Wish me luck checking myself, living deliberately, and loving unconditionally.

No edits.


Working From Home While Sick

I came down with an honest to goodness common cold over the weekend!  It is truly awful without medication.  I slept like shit and just felt like the front of my face was going to melt away.

Luckily, I am employed by a company and in a position that allows me to work from home if necessary to avoid contaminating my co-workers and giving me the opportunity to save precious time off hours.

I have to imagine that most people are not so lucky and have to go to work because they cannot afford to stay home, worry about losing their jobs, etc.  So they trudge wearily to work and spread the particular iteration of plague growing inside of their sinuses to their co-workers.

Maybe employers should set aside areas so that people who are contagious, but still in a condition to work can still come in and put in a day’s work?  Maybe they should hand out face masks for the sick and well alike?

Anyway, it sure is a relief not to have to make the choice.  Job security and lack of guilt all in a nice little package has got me feeling blessed this evening.

One love!

Friday Night Got a Little Heavy, Huh?

I meant every word.  I also had some great discussion on other social media the next day with some of my friends who are more intelligent than I am.

Tonight’s fare is much lighter, I promise.

As I was shaving my face this morning I got a good look at myself in the mirror.  I hadn’t put my makeup or my hair product on yet.  I was vulnerable.  I was raw. I was flabby.  What the fuck???

When did I get old and flabby???  Why now did my wife notice further accumulation of back hair???

Full disclosure.  I am almost 33 years old.  I lead what I would describe at a 70% sedentary lifestyle.  I eat lots of red meat and drink lots of heavy ale.  I work out a bit, but not nearly as much as I should.  Keeping up with my kids might give me a bonus 5% in the sedentary category, but that’s about where things stand.

I would ask that the audience keep in mind that I am coming at this topic from a light-hearted place, but also from an intense vulnerability bred from hubris, venality, and exposure to warped media of all types.

All of that having been said, looking at myself in the mirror made me feel pretty shitty even as a married male who has already replaced himself plus 1 in the ol’ gene pool.

Maybe it’s just getting older?  Maybe it’s comparing myself to all of my beautiful friends and family?  Maybe I just have too much time on my hands?

Who knows?  Better yet.  Who cares?  Oh, wait…I do.  As much as I try to pretend like I don’t, I still do.

I guess the moral of the story tonight is love yourself no matter what, but if you’re not happy with yourself, take a look in the mirror and more importantly, inside your heart and mind.  If you do not like what you see, determine whence your dissatisfaction comes and if necessary, make a change.

Me?  I need to drop 30 or 40 L-B’s for my health.  Wish me luck.

Did I catch a Niner in there? Were You Calling From a Walkie Talkie?

Shout-outs to Chris Farley, David Spade, and Brian Fucking Dennehy.  Tommy Boy, may you rest in peace.  Thanks for the laughs.

I was ready to pick up the pen aka keyboard this morning.  Hand to God I was going to knock out a half page or more on the short story/novel.

Unfortunately before I could dig in, I logged into Twitter and what did I see but another fucking school shooting.

Pardon the profanity.

It’s time to license guns like we license drivers in this country.  If you want to own a hand-cannon designed only to kill another human being or an assault rifle that should only be in the hands of a soldier, that’s on you.  I am not going to try and repeal your right to bear arms, but I am damn sure going to enact extensive regulation and taxation.

You will take a test every five years.

You will prove that you passed said test with an amendment to your drivers license.

You will undergo an initial psych evaluation and a re-evaluation whenever the best science states you should be re-tested.

You will be tracked through a federal database every time you purchase a gun or ammunition.

My family and I deserve no less given the destructive capability of your expression of an antiquated Constitutional right.

You have the right to keep and bear arms, but I have the fucking right to try to give my kids the best chance possible to not get shot while going to fucking college.

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?


Eight days into my pledge to write something every damned day (ignoring last Saturday) I am pleased to report that my will remains strong.

I have still not returned to my short story/novel, but I am fairly certain tomorrow or the next day it will happen.

I was reminded last night (and again this afternoon) that Earth’s rotation has brought me once again to a cherished time of year!  Being blessed to live where I do, I am able to transition from fresh hop ales right into winter ale season with no intermission whatsoever.

Currently a Jubelale courtesy of Deschutes Brewery is gracing my palette.  The Jube remains my favorite winter ale partly because each year the offering changes a wee bit based on the constantly changing characteristics of the ingredients used to brew this divine nectar.

God or Gods bless the craftfolk of Deschutes Brewery.  Drink hail!